Beware: the mushrooms invade

Just look at this hideous thing. It’s like a living nightmare, those weird squishy yellow things creeping their way out of that soggy dead wood. Forgive me; I might go into vapors if I look at this any longer.


Not that this is much better. Ugh- it’s like an unholy child of an ice cream sandwich and a tree. Now ice cream sandwiches are completely ruined for me- as are trees.


I don’t even know what I’m looking at here. Is there a portal to another realm in this decaying log? Are these hideous creature slowly creeping out of it the bell ringers of our doom?


This image fails to convey- just as it fails to remain in focus- the sheer terror of the actual objects. Yes, we might defeat the few emerging scourges we see pictured, unforgivably fuzzily, here, but what is not shown is what will be our defeat; there are thousand fruiting bodies here, dear reader, thousand! All spreading their noxious spores! Oh!

This image better demonstrates the terror that awaits us! Beware the fruiting hordes!

My master taunts us with this image of the enemy peacefully resting, as if it is gentle and can be reasoned with. Beware! It can not!

Before the invaders came, this was the home to a gentle family of birch-borers, kind and loving parents and their two thousand offspring. And then the fungal invasion began. Where is that family now? I dare not say, dear reader, I dare not say.

Another view of the same. From this angle you can see how complete the defeat was, how total the tyranny of this kingdom’s reign.

How brazenly does the conquered trumpet their victory! Feasting on the living bodies of their victims, without any sign of hesitation or regret! Our enemy will show no mercy!

Oh, it is too hideous, dear reader! Look away, I beg of you! How fat the invaders grow on their spoils! How engorged on wrath of the land they ruin! Oh, sweet forest! I weep for you!

Be not deceived by the invader’s small sizes and their at times innocuous appearances- the small, delicate ones can be as deadly as the enormous.


See how they corrupt the innocent, the poor sweet algae, to with terrible games! Once the algae only served the good of the land- now it is a whore on the lap of the enemy.


It seems like an offering- the conquerors raise their open hands to us, extend them as if suggesting peace is a possibility- but do not trust them; they poison with those very hands!


Even the little ones must be mistrusted. This, seemingly a baby, is in fact a dangerous agent in disguise.


Another tree is lost to the corrupting influence! Farewell, poor tree! Neighbors; be on your guard!

All hope is not lost; these fungi have surrendered after badly losing a battle. But even weak, disabled ones such as these must not be trusted.


The prisoner camps are pleasant, moss carpeted affairs- infinitely more pleasant than the rotting prisons the enemy provides.

A rare glimpse of the queen mushroom; be do not be deceived by her beauty; she is toxic through and through.


Our troops have vanquished these, but a million yet remain. Stay vigilant!

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